shopping

I've been extremely exhausted, beat the last few days because I'm not sleeping at night!  I've been staying up all night nearly all week..wide awake and on the go (as much as someone can be on the go when it's too dark to go outside)...I took a Temazepam last night and still stayed up until 4; this HAS to stop!  I feel just horrible all day and am unable to do much.  Have started taking my new meds (Abilify) and am hoping and praying they do the work that the Clozaril did without the side effects. Not that I'm getting my hopes up..I've been trying to lose weight since 1995 I think.....can't remember for sure..just that I was nice and trim until Dr Fab started trying me on all these different pills. It's been a difficult battle and thus far has gotten the best of me.  I really don't know what to expect from the Abilify.  I've had my hopes up too many times with watching what I eat, exercising, ect......all for nothing.  Anyway, the Clozaril was the best medication for keeping me on the straight and narrow (even to the point of being flat, even while preparing for Paul's funeral)..that's TOO level!  I prefer to be level but not flat.  I'm not Mr Spock and I don't want to act like him.....emotionless.  I may be suffering now but at least I'm feeling things.
This turned out to be a busy day for me.......Nancy wanted to go shopping and I was so damn tired that shopping was the last thing on my mind....ohhhhh...all I wanted to do was go to bed and have a good long sleep.  My heart wasn't in it, but I went as well as Rowena.  I bought very little for myself  but I did start some Christmas shopping, and we sat around and ate at McDonald's..that was the best part...sitting and gabbing.  I felt a little down but not overly so....I was just tired.  As soon as I got home I had a nice sleep on the couch but it wasn't enough...the telephone rang and it was Alice...she's planning to see me over my birthday which is this weekend......It will likely take a few days for me to regain my energy but I hope not too long!