Winding down

Well, I had a really great evening tonight....didn't have to spend it alone.  Rowena and I watched crime shows on TV (CSI, Flashpoint {which is one of my favourites} and Blue Bloods)  she has such a crush on Tom Sellick....she makes me laugh the way she goes on about  him!  My absolute favourite can't miss show is "House"; I just love it..he's so crusty and bad tempered
, quite the character.  Fortunately I don't have to spend too many nights alone, thanks to Rowena.....I do, however spend pretty well all my days alone and that's when I run into trouble with my illness.  Mood swings.I try to occupy myself with walking and spending some time at the store but many days I just can't seem to lift myself out of my chair...going out is a real challenge then and I mostly wind up wasting my time inside.  I hate that.  I know life is short and is to be enjoyed, to shoot for my potential, but I can't seem to find the ability to do anything,not even volunteer work.  I hate myself when I waste these precious days.  Bipolar or not there's no need for it.  I want to live all the way, to find my potential, my gift, and use it to help make this world a better place.